Keep your head down and nothing bad will happen

This is going to be a New Year’s resolution kind of post which is going to require a story about my daughter but first, a little preamble. 2016 was a hard year for me. Not because of political stuff though I do have my concerns that changes in political climate will impact my livelihood. Not because of celebrity deaths though I do have a post coming on my theories as to why Carrie Fisher’s death was such a big deal. Where 2016 hit me hardest was related to the uncertainty of my health and in some difficulties getting my budget under control. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and while I do feel I have a better understanding of my financial future, I can only hope that I have started producing some fucking killer antibodies after this year’s illness.

Now, the story about my daughter. One of my Christmas presents this year was a trip to go see the Doctor Who episode ‘The Return of Doctor Mysterio’ in theaters. A trip like that means leaving the kids with my mother-in-law who very nicely feeds them and keeps them clean. At one point in the evening, my mother in law sent my little girl who is not quite three in to get ready for a bath while she set my son up with entertainment on the television. The little girl was alone for all of 2 minutes and when my mother-in-law stepped into the bathroom she was naked in the tub and covered with blood. A pure white tub with no water in it yet, blood dripping EVERYWHERE pure and crimson. Apparently the razor had been forgotten on the edge of the tub and my little girl got her hands on it… because my little girl gets her hands on everything. Fortunately, it was just a small cut on her finger that bled everywhere. My poor mother in law nearly had a heart attack.

A little soap and a Band-Aid and things were fine by the time we arrived to pick up the kids. Two days later and it was healed up completely. The day after however, we were dropping my baby off at day care and it was slow because of the holidays so we had an audience of four teachers to listen to our tale. At the part where it was pointed out she’d been alone for 2 minutes, one of the teachers piped up “You can’t leave her alone for 30 seconds.” My kid lives life hard. She gets her hands into everything. We were talking about her and she knew. A mischievous smile came over her face though she fortunately didn’t do anything at the time to prove our concerns. She is curious and exploratory and she hasn’t learned to keep her head down.

I on the other hand have been keeping my head down. I have gotten to the point in my life where I could lose the things that are important to me and I want to keep them safe as if not drawing attention to myself will somehow keep the people I love safe. The problem is, head down or not, the difficult parts of 2016 still happened and no amount of keeping my head down changed that. So the new plan is to live out loud. Do some difficult things. Stick my fingers where they don’t belong. Do what I can to be more like my daughter and her mischievous smile.