Well no, clearly not. I am currently just below my heaviest weight… perhaps in my entire life. Just below is the good part as it means that I am making downward progress.
Early this year I had my last visit with the hematologist. Officially he had no idea what was hurting me but he did know it wasn’t a blood issue. Sickness and anxiety had dropped my weight but as I recovered my weight ballooned upwards. After vacation at the end of August I took off my fitbit and stopped getting on the scale because it was stressing me out.
I recently got back on the scale and put the fitbit on because my clothes were feeling tight. I could ignore the number on the scale but my body has its own reality.
So that’s the bad news. The weird part is that I FEEL healthier than I have in a long time. I’m going for longer walks, I’m taking the stairs to the 9th floor at work, and the food i am eating is healthier for me.
So yes… weight is just a number but it is a number that makes my clothes feel tight and gives me more of myself to carry around but i am also hopeful that whatever was in my body has left or at least fine dormant. I am large yes but also healthy.
Now I just need to work on getting my clothes to fit better.Ω